The Road to Love: a Choice
There is no love without choice. No honey flows from lips that are forced to stay. There are no sparkling eyes or compromise when a friend or a lover stays on the premise of guilt or coercion. I’m truly starting to understand “when you love someone, let them go.” When a companion of any kind has set a boundary, one loves them by honoring that boundary, and even encouraging them in their bravery to love themselves enough to say “no” or be specific about a detail they prefer. When love chooses to stay, everyday becomes a celebration of one another’s chosenness. One can rest in another knowing they are both or all choosing to love (they want to be there!). Out of the billions of people in the world, friends and lovers, alike, see the people close to them as special in all their uniqueness and in their becoming. In imperfections, quirkiness, interests, and ideas, love chooses who to love and then begins to nurture the soul and spirit of another (Hooks, All About Love).
The beauty of receiving love is in the courageous choice to let love in and to return to love. Unfortunately, love can choose to leave. Love does not hold another captive. Love liberates. It lets go even when it hurts like hell. It stands on the front porch holding itself tightly until it gets up just enough strength to wave goodbye yelling “Bye! Have a safe trip. I’ll miss you!” as a tear falls like a silent prayer that they’ll find home. When one decides a relationship is not for them, no matter how gracefully or harmfully they decide to move on, love chooses love by allowing them space to go. And when, in our souls, our inner knowing tells us that we have to go, we love ourselves by opening our hands to let go. And it is beautiful how humanity participates in this sort of love journey in the coming and in the going.
On the road back home (our souls journey to belonging) , we stop at different places (or people) to find shelter, and are greeted by strangers who welcome us in and become family. Sometimes we stay a long while and other times only for a night or two, before continuing on our way. At times our homes can be full to the point of having to creatively make room. Other times there may be one or two people at the dinner table. And rarely, and I do hope it’s rare, we find ourselves without company. We can learn to dance with the ebbs and flows of love at different times.
Each time someone stops by or we stop by someone else’s home, we leave something behind and we gain something - something for the journey. What’s left is love or healing or wisdom, and sometimes poison and pain, or dirt and stains which leave the homeowner to send the guest away and then clean up the mess to restore their home to its original warmth and cleanliness. That way, they are prepared for the next passerby, who very well may be someone bringing good news and music and flowers. Someone who chooses to make a home with them. Then the journey starts together.
In the coming and the going, love always lives. It doesn’t go away when people go away. That is the key to being set free in ourselves and setting others free. Letting go is possible because the love will always be there even when there is a parting of ways. The choosers who choose love and choose to stay feel even warmer and more full of gold and sweetness as they surrender to love. Because of chosen surrender, they are able to peacefully allow visitors to continue their journeys apart from them, sending them to the home they pray they’ll find - hopefully with a blessing and some freshly baked cookies for the road.
